9486 in the collection  

Are You the Very Model of a Modern Vice-President?
From Salon.com's War Room comes this quote of the day, from Iowa's Lt. Gov. Patty Judge, a Democrat:

"Sarah knows how to field-dress a moose. I know how to castrate a calf. Neither of those things has anything at all to do with this election.

But since we know so much about Sarah's special skills, I wanted to make sure you knew about mine too."

Katha Pollitt, Nation Editor, Comment: What cool thing can you do that have nothing to do with being vice-president or, Lord help us, president? It doesn't have to involve animal bloodshed. Can you write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform? I can't, but I can whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense, Pinafore. And leap tall buildings at a single bound. Plus, I've been to many foreign countries, to say nothing of New Jersey, which I can actually see from my house.

Maybe I should be vice-president!

Ohanian Comment:

I know how to make papier-mache (though not even the prospect of living in the 9,150 square feet at Number One Observatory Circle in Washington, D. C. would convince me to do it again).

I know how to help kids make Clorox bottle guitars with eye screws and fishing line, and I'd do that again in a nano-second.

I know how to help kids build truss bridges.

I know how to clean up a third grader's vomit and defuse a 7th grader's rage when he threatens to throw a chair at me.

I know how to convince 7th graders who hate school to love books.

OK, I admit it: I live in Vermont and I know how to help process deer meat when I find road kill at the bottom of my road. And I cook a very good venison stew.

— Iowa's Lt. Gov. Patty Judge, Katha Pollitt, and Susan Ohanian
Salon.com
2008-09-16


---

INDEX OF OUTRAGES

Pages: 380   
[1] 2 3 4 5 6  Next >>    Last >>