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Billionaires for Educational Reform

Another in our series: News You Will Find Nowhere Else.

Thanks for the hot tip from EducationNotes, located in the heart of education reform in New York City. They've passed on this news:

Billionaire Smellington B. Worthington III has started the "Billionaires for Educational Reform" (BER) blog, where the self-made billionaire will comment on reforming the NYC school system. Reportedly wealthier than NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg, thus making Worthington III even more credible than the Mayor on deciding the future of public education.

Smellington "pulled himself up with just the sweat of his brow, the grit in his character, a portfolio of stocks and properties, a substantial inheritance, and ivy-league education, and a hefty trust fund. In his younger years, Mr. Worthington attended private schools, as do his three children. He is now selflessly turning his valuable time and attention toward the public schools, in order to produce a better, more reliable class of worker."

Smellington for President! Or Chancellor

by Smellington G. Worthington III


Here at Billionaires for Educational Reform, we will decide the best ways to train the great unwashed. We've had it up to here with paying taxes for an educational system that's of no earthly use to us, and we're investigating new ways to turn out a more suitable class of worker.

For one thing, we're livid about job protection for teachers. Since teachers seem to make more money as they work more years, why not simply fire them before they reach high salaries? Then, we can replace them with new teachers and fire them after a few years.

This will not only keep salaries down, but will save us the necessity of paying for pensions. I mean, for goodness' sake, why can't these people live off their investments and rental properties? I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps with nothing but a trust fund, a string of properties, and my inheritance. Let them do the same.

Let's get in there and start making the system work for us. If we must fund public schools, let's make sure that they benefit us.


Highly Objectionable Content

  • NYC Public School Parents

  • Pissed Off Teacher

  • Ripping Good Reads

  • Billionaires for Educational Reform

  • Rich Guy Magazine

  • Yachting Monthly

  • — Smellington G. Worthington III
    Billionaires for Educational Reform


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