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Broad and Gates Join forces to Launch Learn to Eat

Another in the Series of News That You'll Get Nowhere Else.


In a bold, nonpartisan venture to ensure that schools receiving NCLB funds engage in a rigorous program to make their students tops in the world, The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and the Eli and Edythe Broad Foundation announce a joint venture to get students on track: the Learn to Eat program.

Participating schools will test students at the close of each school day, determining whether they meet a benchmark of learning 100% of the skills offered that day. Those students meeting the benchmark will receive a Global Economy Worker Meal, produced by technical specialists in India.

Parents of those students not meeting the benchmark agree not to feed their children at home, thus emphasizing the importance of meeting learning goals. "Food is a powerful incentive to study," announced a blog at the Thomas B. Fordham Foundation.

"NO skills, no food" is the slogan featured on the program's website.

Wayne Newton and Oprah have teamed up to record the program's theme song, "Learn or Starve!"

Dinner's waiting for those test grades
'Cause there's no free lunch no more.

Gotta hit the books
Or go hungry all week long.

Baby, let's have some gastronomy,
And be somebody
In the Global Economy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...

"America is falling behind in preparing students for jobs, for college, and for life," said Oprah. We want every student to accept the responsibility for charting or her educational path, and we know food is a powerful incentive."

"You can't manage what you don't measure," announced the Business Roundtable, applauding the institution of daily tests.

Denouncing the suggestion that if a majority of a teacher's students don't meet the benchmarks, then the teacher shouldn't get to eat either," a representative from the NEA said, "From the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific, our teachers are working hard to make sure that every student receives a quality education that will prepare them to be successful 21st century workers in the global economy. We welcome efforts to ask students to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for their progress, but it is counter-productive to starve teachers when students don't measure up."

— Staff
Unique News



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