in the collection
Leftover school lunches to be recycled into tests.
Another in the series of news you will read nowhere else.
It may be a global economy update on a variation of "Think of all those starving children overseas. . . and eat your spinach," but todayÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½s version is "Eat your lunch or it will become another high stakes test."
Leftover school lunches will not go to waste if a current bill co-sponsored by Sen. Edward Kennedy and Senator Lamar Alexander, former Secretary of Education, is signed into law.
The senators issued a press release calling for funds to launch research to turn food waste into high stakes tests.
Harold McGraw III, President and Chief Executive Officer, the McGraw-Hill Companies, a leading test publisher, is enthusiastic about the prospects. "We will use the scientific formula for the recycling of garbage to teach the schoolchildren of America important lessons about the environment," said McGraw. "Then weÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½ll test them Ã¢ï¿½ï¿½til they drop."
McGraw is also chairman of the Business Roundtable and serves on the Boards of Directors of United Technologies and ConocoPhillips. He is chairman of the Emergency Committee for American Trade (ECAT) and a member of the Business Council. He is a member of the State DepartmentÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½s Advisory Committee on Transformational Diplomacy, and he also served as a member of President George W. BushÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½s Transition Advisory Committee on Trade.
Senator Edward Kennedy, Chair of the U. S. Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions, called a news conference in which he stated that currently, the 1.35 trillion tons of food left over daily at the nationÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½s school cafeteras is incinerated. "If we can redeem a fraction of that waste and use it to test children, our nation will move one step closer to competitive status in the global economy," said Senator Kennedy.
Kennedy denied that he is jumping on this bandwagon after the recent crash of the NCLB gocart. "Absolutely not," he insisted. "Hopefully, this dramatic recycling initiative will mark a new beginning to help all citizens achieve the American dream."
When a reporter from the Sacramento Bee asked if the stockpile of vomit on children's tests returned to Harcourt could be recycled," Sen. Kennedy answered, "My staff will get back to you on that."
Sen. Lamar Alexander, currently keynoting a Broad Foundation seminar Education For a Global Economy, inviting business and education reporters to find the real stories behind the US schools failure to adopt a corporate model, was unavailable for comment but his office released a statement indicating full support of the bill, quoting Senator Alexander's affirmation that "Republicans must take the lead and work on educational issues in an open-minded, bipartisan fashion. Recycling school lunches is an important step in this direction."
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