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The Eggplant

 

in the collection  

Students take on Margaret Spellings and her cult

News you will read nowhere else.

This is probably written by:
a) educator
b) parent
c) student
d) any of the above



It started out as any ordinary day. Mrs. Martin was yelling at Tommy, James, and me for talking. We were doing exercises B, C, and D. Holmes was asking for the answer to question three.

Suddenly, everything went dark and someone screamed. Mrs. Martin was gone and so were all the other classes and teachers, so we did the obvious thing and screwed around for hours.

Then, we heard footsteps and everyone hid. I peeked through the door that we almost completely covered with trash and I saw the 2nd worst possible person. . . Margaret Spellings!

She was with a bunch of people wearing white robes. The emblem said NCLB and suddenly, Andrea exclaimed, "No child left behind!" and we were all in shock. Shocked not that we were somehow being targeted, but because Andrea figured out something faster than anyone else did.

We all knew that we were being targeted now and Holmes said, "Somebody hold me," and everyone laughed. All of a sudden, everything turned to a blur and only Tommy, Holmes, James, and I were left. We all had to try to see what the NCLB cult was doing with everyone so we put the shortest kid as lookout since he could most easily fit in good hiding places if spotted.

After a half hour, we saw the cult with a large pile of bodies. Sadly, all the bodies were those of children. We came to the blatant conclusion: NCLB would be taking our minds and souls as well.

We devised a plan: Holmes was going to trip himself purposely and using the standardized testing practice booklets we found in crazy Mr. Kezzelly's closet, we would open fire on the NCLB invaders. As Holmes began to fall, we launched our plan and surrounded the evil NCLB clique. We offered them a brief opportunity to surrender.

"They want to take us without a fight!"

As the NCLBers stuck to their mission, so did we to ours.

After a battle, we walked away, feeling proud, having beat this attempt to rob us of our minds and souls.

— anonymous
e-mail

2008-01-26


INDEX OF THE EGGPLANT


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