Orwell Award Announcement SusanOhanian.Org Home


The Eggplant

 

in the collection  

Scientific Reading Draws Inspiration from Scientific Whaling

More news you will read nowhere else.

Shimonoseki, Japan -- A defiant Japan embarked on its largest whaling expedition in decades, targeting protected humpbacks for the first time since the 1960s despite international opposition. A brass band played "Popeye the Sailor Man" and whaling officials told the crowd that Japan should preserve its whale-eating culture and not give into militant activists.

The whalers plan to kill up to 50 humpbacks in what is believed to be the first large-scale hunt since a 1963 moratorium put the giant marine mammals under international protection.

A spokesman for Japan's Fisheries Agency stressed that this is a "scientific" whale hunt. Researchers do DNA sampling and measurements of whales which include earbone size, age, and most importantly, contents of the digestive tract.

McGraw-Hill global headquarters, Dubuque--

A jubilant Harold McGraw III, Chairman, President, and CEO of McGraw-Hill and Chairman of the Business Roundtable, greeted reading scientists on the footsteps of the new $32-million McGraw-Hill global headquarters in Dubuke.

Reading scientists operating under a special U. S. Department of Education grant and on loan to McGraw-Hill will examine the digestive tracts of children inducted into direct instruction phonics programs at 3 years of age compared with the digestive tracts of children who did not receive the benefits of phonics immersion until kindergarten.

A brass band played "Don't Cry for me Argentina" to launch this scientific endeavor. Amy Wilkins, principal partner at EdTrust, applauded the exciting new project, telling the crowd that the U. S. government should preserve its child-devouring precepts and not give in to whole language activists.

McGraw-Hill and U. S. State Education Department officials emphasized that no children will be killed in this first large-scale examination of the phonics influence on the digestive tract. "Reading scientists at the Yale Department of Pediatrics assure us this is safe. And scientific."





— staff
Press release

2008-02-10


INDEX OF THE EGGPLANT


FAIR USE NOTICE
This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of education issues vital to a democracy. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information click here. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.