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The Three Sisters Answer Your Education Dilemmas

NOTE: Three prominent educators, whose combined savvy in classrooms across America adds up to more years than they want to admit, have volunteered to answer questions vexing teachers. If you have a question, send it to:

msclass@gmavt.net

Terms of Service

All questions submitted by the party known as "The Client" become the property of The Three Sisters, who wish to offer excellent service to each and every Client, but make no warranties of any kind, expressed or implied, for services provided. The Three Sisters Inc. who will not be responsible for any damages Client may suffer from disgruntled administrators, Boards of Education, or U. S. Secretary of Education, Margaret Spellings, who is known to be vindictive when she gets a bee up her ___, wherever.

Furthermore, the Client will hold harmless, defend, and indemnify The Three Sisters from any and all demands, liabilities, losses, costs and claims, that may arise or result from any advice provided or performed or agreed to be performed by The Three Sisters. In other words, if your test scores don't go up, don't blame us.

AND the Client agrees to use advice only for lawful purposes. Any use, or attempted use, that violates any local, state, federal, or international law constitutes unauthorized.

HOWEVER, any use, or attempted use, that violates any provision of NCLB is encouraged and applauded.



Question: By district fiat, my kindergartners can't nap, snack, or
play in centers for the six months of DIBELization preceding the U-SKUNK
(Universal SKills, UNderstanding, and Knowledge) test in March. How can I keep them awake?

Answer: The about-to-be-released DIBELS playstation puffs a caffeine spray every 39 seconds, covering the user in gentle, energizing breeze.

Read/Recite/Inhale® promotes student learning through direct instruction and the following technology-empowered curriculum features: audio assistance, immediate feedback, the option to repeat instruction as often as needed, and regularly-spaced energizing bursts of caffeine.

— The Three Sisters
Advice Column

2008-03-31


INDEX OF THE EGGPLANT


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