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US Department of Education Unveils A New Formula for Recognizing NCLB Proficiency

Another item in the series that you will read nowhere else.

For Release
September 18, 2008

Washington, D. C. -- Scholars at the U. S. Department of Education have released a milestone report with a formula for immediately raising school proficiency rates.

"With this critical and innovative update of the proficiency parameters, we are confident we are sending a really strong message to school personnel and to our stakeholders: the time for proficiency has arrived," announced Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings.

This definitive new research was conducted by cousins of Roland Good III, top money-maker at the University of Oregon Center on Teaching and Learning.

U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings' Immediate Action Plan for Proficiency calls for expanding student access to amicable numbers. "Scientific research proves that this access,historically denied, has immediate and significant impact on students' future. And we know that this is the key to America's future economic prosperity. With approximately 90 percent of the fastest-growing jobs requiring familiarity with amicable numbers, it is imperative that schools ensure that students have the proper information and support they need."

Secretary Spellings announced that this groundbreaking information is guaranteed to raise every school's proficiency rating by 34.87% in the first month. Any school failing to meet this expectation should be reconstituted immediately. "Time is running out. Schools need to act quickly," Spellings gasped. "America's future hangs in the balance."

Walter Isaacson, President and CEO of the Aspen Institute, noted, "The Aspen Institute regularly convenes policy makers and leading thinkers to address the most critical issues the world faces. With the help of the Broad Foundation and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, our next conference will be on the Disparaity Gap in Amicable Number Acquisition. As we have done in the past, we will call on members of the business community, all the education entrepreneurs we can find, plus some old fogey retired governors, and our friends at Education Trust, to address this issue and to beat up on schoolteachers."

Merrill Lynch's newly recruited chief executive, John Thain, will not be available for the amicable numbers conference. He makes his own numbers and is busy spending his share of the $200 million payout with two senior lieutenants for less than a year's work.

Guide for the Media with a vital interest in education topics.

â??Amicable numbersâ?? are any pair of numbers for which each is the sum of all of the divisors of the other-they are said to have been discovered by Pythagoras. The smallest pair of such numbers is 220 & 284: the divisors of 220 are 1, 2, 4, 5, 10, 11, 20, 22, 44, 55 and 110 (the sum of which is 284); and the divisors of 284 are 1, 2, 4, 71 and 142 (the sum of which is 220). In 1636, Pierre de Fermat showed that 17296 & 18416 were also amicable. Two years later, René Descartes proved 9363584 & 9437056. Other amicable pairs (as they are also known) include: 1184 & 1210, 2620 & 2924, 5020 & 5564, 6232 & 6368, 10744 & 10856, 12285 & 14595, 63020 & 76084. In total, there are thought to be 236 amicable pairs below 108.

Article: "Reliable Amicable Number-Proximity-Induced Consequences," Malcolm Hunnicutt Rogers VIII, SFNS, Felicity F. Rogers, SCHOG, Journal of Unrefutable Psychology, Vol. 632, No. 4.

NOTE: Approval by The American National Standards Institute (ANSI), a private non-profit organization that represents the interests of more than 125,000 companies and 3.5 million professionals and oversees the development of voluntary consensus standards for products, services, processes, systems, and personnel in the United States, is pending.

— Press Release
US Department of Education



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