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The Eggplant

 

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The NCLB Night Before TESTING PILL

Another item in the series
missed by mainstream media.


by Richard Lakin

I recently stumbled across a highly classified
document in the files of one of our largest
pharmaceutical companies when I placed
"Manhattan Project (similar)" into a classified
search engine. It appears that an unnamed
career officer in The U.S. Department of
Education has, since 2004, been funneling
hundreds of millions of dollars through the CIA
for the development of a TESTING PILL to be
administered to all students taking high stakes
tests.

On trial tests of the TESTING PILL in a secret
location in Texas, 100% of the students tested
above the 90 percentile in reading and math.
Thus, the scores of American students have the
potential of becoming the highest in the world,
outstripping even Taiwan and Finland. In
addition, this modern day miracle should also
guarantee that our children will lead the world
in the 21st century global economy.

However, the results of this Manhattan like
secret project, in terms of its urgency and its
mind-boggling consequences, haven't yet been
openly reported. There appears to be one major
side effect which the researchers are at this
point calling the ZOMBIE EFFECT and which
requires further investigation and testing. It
seems that 97.6% of the test group displayed
significant decreases in their levels of
intelligence, creativity, and higher order
thinking skills.

Researchers and drug company representatives
are hoping that the TESTING PILL will have the
same instantaneous impact upon improving
education as Prozac has had as antidepressant
in a world that seems to be speeding out of
control.





— Richard Lakin

http://tinyurl.com/ccg4lx
2009-04-02


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