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98.7 Percent Of Opinions Withheld In Conversation with Duncan

Public Schedule of Sec. Duncan
Tuesday, June 23-- 9:45-10:00 a.m.
OPEN: Secretary Duncan expresses the Administration's support for Chicago's 2016 Olympic bid at ceremony at Fort Dupont Ice Arena, 3779 Ely Place SE, Washington DC 20019

WASHINGTON, D. C.--A full 98.7 percent of the opinions held by Julie Cramer, longtime kindergarten teacher, were kept to herself when she met up with Secretary of Education at the Fort Dupont Ice Arena, part of the National Park Service.

"He was practicing his half-loop, counter-clockwise," said Cramer. "I wanted to tell him about all the harm done by NCLB, but he said, "Get over it. We're changing the name."

"I was disappointed," admitted Cramer. "I went there prepared to administer the Kindergarten DIBELS to him. After all, it only takes a minute, and the U. S. Department of Education claims it's scientific, so I want to know how Secretary Duncan would do."

"But he was practicing his half-loop, counter-clockwise," said Cramer. "And his staff said 11 minutes of his time there would be devoted to saying why Chicago should get the 2016 Olympics."

Cramer said it's not surprising that Duncan had no time for a kindergarten teacher. "I've never met anyone outside the faculty room who cares about teachers' worldview." she said, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Fortunately, since his schedule was so full at the rink, I only had to practice a few minutes of self-censorship."

Cramer used the time to administer the DIBELS test to three rink attendants who expressed amazement at such a crazy document.

Inspired by Eddy Murphy in "Daddy Day-Care," Duncan will make his next appearance on the Listening Tour dressed as broccoli.

— Susan Ohanian



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