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Obama Named Broad Prize Winner

Surprise selection shocks cities in line for the award.

LOS ANGELES-- President Barack Obama stunned the urban education world today by picking up education's coveted Broad Prize for Urban Education.

President Obama was chosen unanimously, according to Eli Broad, beating out such favorites as the Detroit Public Schools and Gwinnett County Public Schools in Georgia.

Education insiders were shocked by President Obama's selection, given that he has only been in office for eight months and during that time has yet to teach a single student. Not to mention that previously the prize has never been awarded to a person.

Eli Broad, the 93rd richest person in the world and founder of the Broad Foundation, said the Foundation is taking this unprecedented step to "say thanks" to the president for his support of charter schools.

In accepting the award, President Obama said he is "honored and humbled by the award.

White House insiders indicate the President hasn't decided what to do with the $2 million prize money but is leaning towards establishing a fund to improve scripts used by schools getting ready for the upcoming national test.

Arne Duncan, who has an unprecedented $160 billion budget, laughed when asked what he'd do with an extra $2 million. "We have enough paper clips." After pausing, he added, "In all seriousness, I'd probably pass it on to Detroit, so Robert Bobb, a terrific guy and a Broad graduate, can hire more consultants."

Randi Weingarten, president of the AFT, said, "We also plan to give President Obama an AFT
Innovation Fund grant because our 1.4 million members appreciate his untiring work to achieve the national standards our beloved leader Al Shanker so wanted. . . Al lives!"

Representing 3.2 million members, NEA President Dennis Van Roekel said, "President Obama is always welcome to sit at our table."



— Susan Ohanian
The Eggplant

2009-10-12


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