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Special announcement from Arne Duncan

Special News Flash by Stephen Krashen

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan announced today that famed educator Dolores Umbridge will be joining the Common Core State Standards Initiative K-12 Standards Development Team for language arts.

Ms. Umbridge, is the former Headmistress of The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and is famous for her statement to students concerned about the relevance of classroom instruction to practical knowledge, " � a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about." When asked by one student how theory is supposed to prepare us for "what's out there," Ms. Umbridge's reply was "There is nothing out there, dear!"

Mr. Duncan noted that Ms. Umbridge's philosophy of education is quite similar to that of current team members Timothy Shanahan, Louisa Moats and Marilyn Adams. "She'll fit right in," the secretary commented.

— Stephen Kirashen
The Eggplant



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