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Feds Announce New Gestation Maximum

by Stephen Krashen

Breaking News

Washington--The US Government has just announced that from now on gestation will last a maximum of three months. The decision was made by a review panel chaired by Henry Logstrom, chief operating officer of the American Incubators Manufacturing Association.

The American Medical Association and the American Nursing Association urged their members to support the decision, pointing out that they had contributed a great deal to the Gestation Committee's work, having convinced the committee to require additional training for medical professionals in dealing with premature infants.

Individual pediatricians and pediatric nurses, including two Nobel prize winners and several former presidents of the medical and nursing organizations, protested the decision. Spokespeople for the organizations said that there were always dissidents who simply like to criticize and don't have constructive comments. The two medical associations said that although they were not fully satisfied with the Gestation Act, they were pleased that they had "a seat at the table" and were able to contribute to the discussion and improve the Act.

Dissenters noted that three months was far too short for gestation. Medical association officers pointed out that "three months" can be interpreted in many ways. "A month is 1/12 of a year, the time it takes to rotate around the sun. According to this definition, three months on Jupiter lasts about four years. The Gestation Act thus allows a great deal of variability," explained one medical association officer. "In fact, allowing variability was probably the purpose of limiting gestation to three months."

Dissenters also noted that the US Government has no business making policy on length of gestation.

In related news, the price of American Incubator Corporation stock tripled this morning.

(Thanks to Sal Gabaldon for the idea of the Gestation Act and its implications for the incubator industry.)

— Stephen Krashen
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