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Thousands of Teachers Decapitated at Gates Headquarters
Or, as Bill has put it in an unguarded moment, "We do it our way."
Proving that the Foundation gets what it wants, as Melinda Gates spoke, a large screen descended, revealing Guiding Principle #16:
"Older teachers are using up too much of our most valuable resource, money," said Bill Gates, joining his wife on the podium.
Gates Foundation director of education Vicki Phillips assured the audience, "We will keep blood loss to a minimum. Although we are grateful for the presence of the axmen--Education editorial writers for the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the Washington Post, columnists from Newsweek--today this title is only honorary. In accordance with the Gates Foundation allegiance to research-based science and technology, we will employ scientific precision."
Deputy director of education Dr. John E. Deasy added, "This action follows Gates Foundation Guiding Principle #6: We identify a specific point of intervention and apply our efforts against a theory of change. This nation can't afford to waste time fighting teacher unions about rewarding teachers for service past three years. So the Gates Foundation has stepped forward with this specific point of intervention."
Melinda Gates called for a round of applause, "for the three years of good service" of the 20,000 teachers in the arena. "They did what they were capable of doing--gave three years to the nation's youth. Now it's time for a transition."
A screen descended. A whoosh! filled the air. After 15 seconds, the screen lifted. 20,000 headless torsos filled the space.
A joyful noise filled the hall as Kati Haycock, Wendy Kopp, Eleanor Clift, Thomas Friedman, Arne Duncan, and Jonathan Alter took to the stage and danced the Can-can.
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