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US Department of Education Alert to Chicken Stuffiing Terrorism

Associated Press

Dec. 22, 2010
Lafayette Parish, LA--The Lafayette Parish Sheriff's Office briefly shut down the Lafayette Regional Airport while they investigated a suspicious package in checked luggage that turned out to contain a frozen chicken. The chicken was stuffed with crawfish.

Portland, OR--Security inspectors at the Portland, Oregon airport demanded that a 16-year-old traveler from Houston hand over two snow globes. "The souvenir globes might contain explosive nitroglycerin," an officer told the teen.

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Oscar Oglethorpe, United States Under-Secretary in charge of Detecting Youth Terrorism at the US Department of Education, announced the imminent release of the US Department of Education Guidelines on Approved Chicken Stuffings . "Our mission is to develop and disseminate real-world knowledge about what works best to promote safe and healthy environments in which America's children can learn and develop into workers for the Global Economy."

The U. S. Department of Education is contracting with KBR, Inc. (formerly Halliburton Kellogg and Brown) to inspect all chicken stuffings before they are permitted in schools. "This is part of the USDOE's Logistics Operation Chicken Output (LOCO)," said Oglethorpe.

USDOE guidelines indicate that KBR, Inc. will give preference in hiring to out-of-work teachers. Applications are electronically available for this unique opportunity at www.loco.gov

Asked about USDOE plans for combating snow globe terrorism in the schools, Under-Secretary Oglethorpe said, "We'll get back to you on that."

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