in the collection
All You Wanted to Know About Standardistos But Were Afraid to Ask
Here's a chance to score yourself on a rigorous, scientific Standardisto rating scale.
Take this Standardisto quiz: Score 1 point for each "Yes."
How Many Teachers Does It Take to Change a Standardisto?
Nobody knows. It's never been done.
You're a Standardisto if. . .
Your favorite bedtime reading matter is Nation at Risk.
You think E. D. Hirsch's Cultural Literacy: What Every American Needs to Know would make a great mini-series.
You name your dog Cut-Score.
You name your first child Frederick Winslow.
You think "getting back to one's roots" means retaking the SATs every five years.
You think a remake of "The Stepford Wives" should be about a community that embraces the Common Core Curriculum and Assessment Standards.
For a birthday present, you ask for your own high speed test scoring machine.
When Airport Security asks to see your ID, you pull out your SAT scores.
You think Starbucks is a student test score incentive system.
Your favorite recipe begins, "Take a gross of No. 2 pencils. . . ."
You own a time share at Pearson VUE.
You think the U. S. Department of Education should be renamed The U. S. Bureau of Student Weights and Measures.
You're organizing a Neighborhood Watch for supply chain planning and implementation tools for administration of Common Core Assessments.
You are certified to lead a Michelle Rhee Critical Incident Command and Disaster Recovery System workshop(patent pending).
You believe a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for a successful life.
You're not pro-life or pro-choice; you're pro-testing.
You've appeared on John Merrow's Learning Matters more than twice.
You tithe to the National Alliance for Rigor Rendition
You're the official Congressional lobbyist for celebration of National Bubble Kid Appreciation Month (To replace California Dried Prune Digestive Month).
You never say, "There's no right answer."
You never say, "Honey, I think Johnny's been tested enough!"
Your high school class voted you most likely to make 3rd graders cry.
The Romantic Side Score 3 1/2 points for each 'yes' answer
You're a Standardisto if:
Your dating service matches you up with a test corrector.
You think "showing a girl a good time" means letting her take a peek at the questions on the high-stakes graduation tests.
Your prenuptial agreement specifies minimum test scores.
You registered for wedding gifts at Kaplan, Inc.
You exchanged vows in the basement archives of discarded test questions at a CTB/McGraw Hill warehouse in Peoria.
You requested the Honeymoon Suite at Harcourt Assessment.
You and your spouse honeymooned at the Standardised Test Incident First Responders Bootcamp: ED DOE 380, 652, and 972 Levels.
You leave space in your wedding album for retest results.
44-50 Report immediately to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. You're ready for their leadership team.
38-43 You're on the cusp of success. Apply for a summer training grant from the Broad Foundation for a jolt of entrepreneurial energy.
20-37 Seek advice from Joanne Weiss at the U. S. Department of Education. She has a plan for you.
10-19 You could write editorials for The New York Times.
0-9 Why did you take this quiz?
INDEX OF THE EGGPLANT