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Gates Proposes Replacing Tenured Teachers with Rotarians: Reform effort promises immediate tax relief to strapped local districts

LAKE MEDINA, WA--One week after speaking at the third plenary session of the 2011 Rotary International Convention in New Orleans, Bill Gates called Secretary of Education Arne Duncan to the 20-foot-ceiling Trampoline Room in his 66,000 square feet lodge on Lake Medina.

Gates told Duncan he's inspired with the vigorous way Rotarians help him fight polio around the world, adding that's why he gave them $355 million. Gates indicated he wants to bring some of that Rotarian enthusiasm into the schools.

After following Gates in some somersaults, tucks, and pikes, Duncan promised to announce "Rotarians in the Schools" as part of Race to the Top, Part IV. "We'll offer a few hundred million to schools that offer this innovative reform," he said.

"I'm going to get another trampoline in here so we can get totally synchronized," said Gates.

Duncan agreed that thanks to media by-in to current reform efforts, the public is probably ready for the Gates plan to make room for the Rotarians by taking out tenured teachers with Predator drones.

AFT chief Randi Weingarten said that given the economic crisis, her union would be willing to discuss new approaches to issues like teacher longevity.

— Susan Ohanian
The Eggplant



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