Orwell Award Announcement SusanOhanian.Org Home


The Eggplant

 

in the collection  

Secretary Duncan Addresses Punctuation Problem



Washington D. C.--Holding up a suicide note from a 15-year-old Des Moines sophomore, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan noted that this teen was "crying out for help in punctuation and spelling."



In a press conference called on the steps of the Iowa State Capitol, the only five-domed capitol in the country, Duncan explained, "I look at this note and know why the Common Core Curriculum Standards and Testing must be our number one priority. Imagine the shock of parents to find such a note with misplaced modifiers, split infinitives, and even lack of agreement between subject and verb."



Duncan announced that as part of the U. S. Department of Education's $4.35 billion Race to the Top stimulus fund, every teenager in America will receive The Chicago Manual of Style (16th edition). "We're doing our part to be sure that every teen in America is carer and college ready" for the rigors of full participation in the Global Economy of the 21st Century.

— Staff
The Eggplant

2011-12-23


INDEX OF THE EGGPLANT


FAIR USE NOTICE
This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of education issues vital to a democracy. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information click here. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.