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Pooh's Little Instruction Book for Teachers

Lesson Plans

  • If possible, try to find a way to write your Common Core Lesson Plans that doesn't involve going bump, bump, bump, on the back of your head.

    Or send a knife into your heart


  • When waking in the morning, if your first thought is, "I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" it's unlikely you'll find it in your Plan Book.

  • The most important clue to successful Lesson Plans is Never Take Them Too Seriously--leave room for excitement.


  • Remember: The Bird in the Window only happens for teachers able to take advantage of it.

  • The trick to succeeding in the classroom is to recognize the moment when you need to let those Plans drop.

    And smile when it happens.

  • Never write in your Plans that you're going to practice a special Outdoor Song which Has To Be Sung In the Snow.

  • It's important to sing these songs. Just don't issue warnings in your Planbook.

  • When you've been following your Lesson Plan for miles, and you suddenly stop for breath and a student says, "Do you want to hear why the chicken crossed the road?" then you know it's a Friendly Day.


  • If you plant an acorn, it will grow up into an oaktree. But it doesn't follow that writing The students will. . . in your Planbook means they will grow into 21st Century Workers.


  • If you want to make your Lesson Plan more hummy, add a few chicken riddles. Or Elephant Jokes.


  • Sometimes a Lesson Plan is a Lesson Plan, and sometimes it's more of an Accident. It depends on whether you're on top of it or underneath it.

  • Don't underestimate the value of Planning Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things in the room and humming along.


  • If the Lesson Plan was fine today, it doesn't mean anything. It may hail a good deal tomorrow--blizzards and whatnot.


  • Evaluators-Carrying-Rubrics

  • Something about the way Evaluators-Carrying-Rubrics say "Good Morning" tends to leave one's ears full of sand.

  • When speaking to an Evaluator-Carrying-Rubrics of Very Little Brain, remember that talk of pedagogy will put her on edge.

  • Try not to fall asleep during professional development presentations. It annoys Evaluators-Carrying-Rubrics who consider themselves Very Important People.


  • When conversing with Evaluators-Carrying-Rubrics, remember that they think it is rather beneath their dignity to talk of Teachable Moments or even Why the chicken crossed the road.


  • You may think Evaluators-Carrying-Rubrics don't have brains. In fact, it is very likely they are part of a Mind Control Experiment being conducted by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.


  • If the Evaluator-Carrying-Rubrics you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that she is waiting for an important signal from Bill Gates.


  • If the Evaluator-Carrying-Rubrics asks you the source of a particular item in your Lesson Plan, and you don't know, it's safer say, "I got it out of Danielson" than to refer to Piaget or Dewey. Or Abbie Hoffman.

  • Eeyore was likely talking about Evaluators-Carrying-Rubrics when he said, "We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it."


  • Students

  • It's always useful to know where a student is, whether you want him there or whether you don't.


  • Don't forget that a kid isn't a Consumer or a Client or even a 21st Century Worker. He is likely someone who can be cheered by a balloon--or a chicken riddle.

  • Just because a student is obnoxious, it doesn't mean he doesn't need kindness. . . just as much as the sweet teacher-pleasers.


  • When your off-the-grid students are wedged in gloom, try reading aloud--choose a book off the Common Core grid.



  • — Susan Ohanian


    2012-01-22


    INDEX OF THE EGGPLANT


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