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The Eggplant

 

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These Numbers Can Kill You

by Susan Ohanian

1. Which United States president called the Twinkie an "object of enduring American symbolism" and wanted to deposit them in the National Millennium Time Capsule?

a) George W. Bush
b) Ronald Reagan
c) Bill Clinton
d) Barack Obama

2. Which US President said, "[Test results] give us a road map to higher performance. In no other country in the world did performance in math drop from above average in 4th grade to below average in 8th grade... This ought to be a clear challenge to every single state that has not yet come forward to agree to participate in the national standards movement."

a) George W. Bush
b) Ronald Reagan
c) Bill Clinton
d) Barack Obama

3. The shelf life of a head of Boston lettuce is

a) 2 hours
b) 2 days
c) 2 weeks
d) 2 months

4. The shelf life of Twinkies is:
a) 25 minutes
b) 25 days
c) 25 weeks
d) 25 years

5. The shelf life of unopened containers of fresh caviar

a) 2 days
b) 2 weeks
c) 2 months
d) 2 years

6. The shelf life of a 7th grader's attention span for an AFT Common Core lesson on "Lady of Shallot" is

a) 2.5 seconds
b) 2.5 minutes
c) 25 minutes
d) 2 days

7. Which Bill is scarier?

a) Billy the Kid
b) Bill Clinton
c) Bill O'Reilly
d) Bill Gates

8. Which statistic is more alarming?

a) Hostess machinery fills 52,000 Twinkies an hour with creme.
b) As of August 2011, Black Ops had sold 25 million copies
c) There are an estimated 70 million rats in New York City (not counting Bloomberg, et al).
d) The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has spent more than $$933,610,950.00 on the Common Core

Answers

1. c. President Clinton Hostess estimates that it's machinery can fill 52,000 Twinkies an hour with creme.

2. c. President Clinton, June 10, 1997

3. b. http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/ingredients-guide/lettuce-00000000039325/index.html

4. b. Source: Twinkies Cookbook

5. b http://www.1-800-caviar.com/caviar-shelf-life.html

6. There's no evidence any teacher has ever been foolish enough to try to teach this lesson.

7. d

8. d

— Susan Ohanian
blog

2012-01-21


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