in the collection
Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, U. S. Department of Education, Data Delight Corp., and Common Core Omega Testing, Ltd,, Esq., RCR, RCVD, FEO, QCEA Party Honoring Public School Teachers
Good afternoon, public school teachers, welcome to the first annual Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, U. S. Department of Education, Data Delight Corp., and Common Core Omega Testing, Ltd,, Esq., RCR, RCVD, FEO, QCEA Party Honoring Public School Teachers. Please proceed through the Welcoming Canopy to the Wal-Mart parking lot, where the National Governors Association whistlers' ensemble is warming up, accompanied by Arne Duncan on the tambourine. The order of entry is determined by the badge you received following the grading of the first administration of the PARCC and Smarter Balanced tests.
At this time we'd like to invite the Platinum Exalted Common Core Global Economy Redemptive teachers; Gold Medal Majestic Common Core Global Economy Justification teachers; Alpha Renown Common Core Global Economy Celebrative teachers. Please enter via the hand-woven Persian carpet (1539-40) borrowed from the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, courtesy of Eli Broad. Walk under the Miracle of Standards! canopy constructed by the PTA from dustjackets from discarded fiction.
Next, welcome Oak Leaf Cluster Common Core Global Economy Make-No-Excuses teachers; Most Honored Common Core Global Economy Cadre teachers; Bronze Accord Common Core Global Economy NCTE loyalists. Please enter via the lush, deep-pile gold carpet under the Standards First! canopy constructed by the National Writing Project from kindergartners' rough draft topic sentences.
Now, we welcome teachers holding tickets for Zone One. Thanks.
Now teachers in Zone Two.
Three.
Four.
All zones. Just walk over the gray indoor-outdoor carpeting. Let's go!
We know you all used to have a choice when it comes to curriculum, and we appreciate your getting on board with the Common Core.
Welcome to the party.
(Inspired by All Aboard by Ellis Weiner, New Yorker blog.)
— Susan Ohanian
blog
2013-03-08
INDEX OF THE EGGPLANT
