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illsborough Board Members Want to Bring Back Spanking
Ohanian comment: Wouldn't you just like to know how much time this reporter has spent hanging around public schools?
For the Hillsborough County School Board, this had to be one of those moments akin to acknowledging one's sister is so ugly that when she walks through the Humane Society, all the dogs think it's a family reunion.
There was rookie board member Jennifer Faliero speaking not one but two forbidden truths.
As political suicides go, this could rank right up there with George Romney claiming he had been ``brainwashed'' by the military regarding Vietnam and former Hillsborough County commissioner and ex-con Joe Kotvas trying to get his old job back on the grounds he was the only candidate in the race to have experienced a full body cavity search.
It was during a recent school board meeting that Faliero observed she thought it would be a whiz-bang idea if educators brought back spanking errant students because ``most of them are just brats.''
And, yes, that was the sight of Faliero's aghast fellow board members slinking under their desks.
Warming up to her idea, Faliero went further, noting these loathsome classroom miscreants will only continue their evil-doing ``until we slam 'em against the wall and put the fear of God into them.''
Mr. Chips
Cue the theme from ``The Bridge on the River Kwai.''
Of course, lest it be suggested that she could be accused of plagiarism for stealing another's innovative educational philosophy, Faliero merely was seizing upon an insight offered up by fellow board member Glenn Barrington.
It was Barrington, who has been around classrooms since Mr. Chips was in preschool, who noted that back in his days as a teacher (circa ``Little House on the Prairie''), that when confronted by a misbehaving student, he would ``slam 'em up against the wall and counsel them.''
What would you call this? The Travis ``You talking to me?'' Bickle school of education?
The problem with all this is that both Barrington and Faliero, while being more politically incorrect than a Humvee owners convention meets Bob Guccione's jewelry box, aren't entirely wrong.
Spend, oh say, a nanosecond around Hillsborough County schools and you don't need to be ``Our Miss Brooks'' to figure out those Liberian rebels running amok in Monrovia exude a greater sense of discipline than what you'll find on most campuses.
Stories of teachers being verbally and at times physically abused are more commonplace than a Parris Island drill instructor having a bad hair day.
Different Curriculum
Go sit in front of virtually any public high school as the young scholars arrive for their daily matriculation, and you'd think many of these kids were majoring in a pre-hooker/pre-thug curriculum.
Good grief, there's more exposed underwear floating around Hillsborough's versions of Pablo Escobar High School than in the last Victoria's Secret catalog.
And that's with a dress code that is largely ignored. Imagine if there were no standards. Jeez, Hillsborough's schools would look like something out of ``Eyes Wide Shut.''
In theory, perhaps, it would be a wonderful thing if mouthy, bullying, punk students could indeed be subjected to the occasional swat by the principal and/or designated enforcer.
Faliero is right. A lot of these students are brats who deserve a good whacking or two, as my father used to say, purely on general principles.
Unfortunately, there are two problems with this idea.
First, we all know the minute the first John Dillinger/Mayflower Madam-in-waiting is sent to the front office after threatening to set the fourth- grade teacher's car on fire and the appropriate spanking is dispensed, the American Civil Liberties Union, along with every lawyer with a TV advertising budget, will be crawling over Hillsborough Superintendent Earl Lennard like flies on road apples.
Second, you know, you just know that some pinhead principal is going to go too far, and instead of a few well- placed spanks on the keister, some poor unfortunate brat is going to wind up like James Bond on that laser table in ``Goldfinger'' - not that he won't deserve it.
In the end, does corporal punishment really work? Sure it does.
After all, I'm a product of nine years of Inquisition-like ruler spanking, pointer slapping, finger pinching and verbal haranguing from the Sisters of the Holy Jeffrey Dahmer.
Then I went on to second grade.
And look how great and perfectly balanced I turned out!
— Daniel Ruth
A Brand Spanking New Idea For Hillsborough Schools
Tampa Tribune
2003-08-18
http://www.tampatrib.com/MGADBTWQHJD.html
INDEX OF OUTRAGES
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